Akhir Juli, dua tahun yang lalu, tahun 2006, pukul 9malem...Saya berjalan tergesa-gesa dan menunduk agak ketakutan...mlewati segerombolan laki-laki berpenampilan dekil n nampak seperti preman jalanan....Saya tak henti-hentinya mengutuk diri saya karena kebodohan saya yang berhenti di stasiun metro Trocadero, bukan di champ de mars seperti yang saya rencanakan...Kutukan dan dumelan saya berhenti ketika akhirnya saya keluar juga dari stasiun tersebut...Malam itu matahari masih bersinar terang, it was a hot summer nite...There i was at Trocadero,,yang tadinya cuma saya dengar di lagunya Melly Goeslaw...Malam itu malam trakhir saya di Paris, I decided to spend time with myself and enjoying the great La Tour Eiffel...I bought myself a chocolate crepe...Lalu duduk ngedeprok disitu, menikmati crepe coklat saya n mandangin Eiffel...puluhan turis mondar mandir..banyak tukang jualan nawarin souvenir ganggu saya...and beberapa anjing entah punya siapa lalu lalang depan saya..tapi saya tumben2nya tak peduli. I grabbed my mobile and started to type....
"Pak, aku lagi di Eiffel niyh sendirian. Paris has been amazingly wonderful. I know its late at nite in Jakarta. But i just want to say thank you for making my dream comes true. Love you"
It was a simple text. Dan buat kebanyakan orang mungkin its something that they do everyday. Tapi buat saya, itu momen pertama saya (as far as i could remember) to tell my father that I love him, selain tulisan2 standar I love you yang selalu saya tulis setiap memberi kartu ulang tahun untuk beliau. Some of my friends said that im good quite good with words, tapi entah kenapa when it comes to family, words are becoming a difficult thing to me. It makes me speechless. And that is the main reason of my writings on this blog.
As a flawed human, i realize that i had spent lots and lots and lots of my times showering my lover with love when i was still with him. And also spent lots and lots of tears for the pain that it caused me when we are separated. Tapi sedikit sekali waktu dan energi yang saya curahkan untuk mensyukuri dan berterima kasih pada orang tua saya...
Waktu saya kecil, saya selalu berubah-ubah memanggil bapak saya...dari papa, papi,,sampe akhirnya saya comfortable dengan memanggil beliau bapak...Waktu itu, beberapa lama, beliau pergi untuk menimba ilmu ke negara lain, saya tinggal di Jakarta bersama mama saya...Yang saya ingat ketika beliau pulang, saya kecil sangat gembira ketika beliau membuka koper besar yang dibawanya...koper itu penuh dengan mainan, dari barbie, mainan putri2an, cincin2an, manik2an, kartun2 jepang, etc...Tapi kegembiraan saya kecil tiba2 hilang ketika mama saya tiba2 bilang.."Bukan buat kmu semua ya mainannya, harus dibagi ke saudara-saudara", saya kecil menangis, and there my father was, defending me...Lalu horeeyy,akhirnya saya yang dapet mainan banyak,, yeiyh, dad is my hero..(versi saya kecil)..
Hari pertama saya masuk Taman Kanak Kanak, saya sangat gembira, menunggu mobil jemputan....Ketika saya mendengar bunyi klakson "tin...tin...tin..." dengan gembira berlebihan saya kecil keluar pintu rumah sambil triak triak "da..daaaaa" ke mama, bapak, dan mbak sayaa...Lalu tiba-tiba...braaakkk...saya kecil kesandung...jatuh...eh robek deh itu dagunya....Hari pertama saya harusnya masuk Taman Kanak Kanak, saya malah ended up di rumah sakit, Bapak saya terlihat sangat khawatir,,,sebagai dokter, beliau tidak mau jahit dagu saya,,but he gave a really hard times to that young doctor yang brusaha jahit dagu saya...Banyak instruksi..huhuhu..kasian jugaaa dokter ituuu...Smenjak kejadian itu, saya ga jadi diijinin naik jemputan, sebenernya saya ga tau kaitannya apa mobil jemputan ama saya jatuh...hohoho...Tapi smenjak hari itu, my dad always drove me to school..Beliau selalu bangun pagi dan selalu mengantar saya ke sekolah...dan beliau mengantar saya sampai saya lulus SMA....dari saya TK...jadi 13 tahun kurang lebih...my dad always drove me to school...Dan tidak seperti saya yang tinggal diantar aja, slalu susah bangun pagi, my dad never complained a thing...All i know he is always there.
Waktu saya berumur 7tahun, my dream was to have this gorgeous pink house for my barbies..My mom always promised me that doll house..tapi saya tak kunjung2 dibeliin...Sore itu, sometime in 1991, Amsterdam hujan lebat dan angin kencang...tapi hari itu hari terakhir kami berada di sana, bus tour yang kami tumpangi tak menunjukkan tanda2 mau berhenti di toko mainan saya...Saya kecil mulai ngambek...tapi eventually bapak saya, meminta supir bis menurunkan kami...Lalu atas instruksi beliau, hujan2 lebat kami berjalan kaki n memakai payung balik ke toko mainan yang saya inginkan...walaupun akhirnya bukan rumah barbie yang dibeli, karena ukuran yang terlalu besar, tapi my father bought me a white ferarri for my barbie...and there i was, happy. And instead of realizing that my dad did things to make me happy, I grow up being a selfish spoiled brat...thinking that life will always go easy on me.
Sewaktu SMP,,my grades were declinig...due to the existence of boyfriend in my life...Saya mulai pacaran. Nilai-nilai saya mulai turun. And my mum called it quit untuk dateng ke sekola dan ambil rapor saya. And since then, although my grades were getting better as it used to...my dad has always been the one who went to school and dealt with everything...no matter how busy he was....There he was, my father, my hero, as always...
Pertama kali bisa bawa mobil, i took my dad's car while he was abroad on business...Ceritanya mau pergi hang out sama temen2 saya...baru 50 meter sampe depan komplek...tiba-tiba..booooommm aja...tabrakan parah dehh...My mum was furious..saya takut bapak saya marah. Malam itu...my dad came home bringing me two handbags,,my favorite and cd walkman untuk saya...Sedangkan saya ketakutan karena habis nabrakin mobilnya...yet he wasnt pissed off at me...And there i was, merasa bersalah,,nabrakin mobil tapi tetep dapet oleh2..huhuhuhu....
Ketika sma, i was furious to my parents when i succeded to pass a student exchange program but they did not let me go. Kata mama, saya masih terlalu kecil untuk tinggal sendirian di States, i was upset. I locked up myself for two days waiting for my dad to say something or change his mind yet he did not say a thing. I was disappointed. My dad finally promised me that i could take my master degree abroad. I felt better and held on to his promise...And he kept his promise....
Awalnya saya kesal..ketika sudah waktunya saya pindahan untuk sekola lagi, but my parents also came to accompany me to England. I felt like im old enough to go by myself...All i thought was saya mau bebas...But it made me sad seeing my father insisting to carry all those 3 huge luggages of mine upstairs to the third floor where i was about to live, he did not let me to help....katanya klo saya nanti yang keseleo, tukang pijit di inggris susah....jadi lebih baik bapak saya yang berat-berat bantu saya (duh saya jadi mau nangis..huhu)...He also insisted to take me to the embassy untuk lapor diri...sedangkan saya udah males2an karena bawaannya mau belanja...But he said that beliau baru bisa tenang kalo saya lapor diri...And i never thought that I would cry that hard when my parents were finally leaving me. But that day when they left, I was there in the station by myself and crying all the way til i get home....
Ahhh...kalau saya terus2an menulis...ada terlalu banyak bahkan tak terhitung hal-hal that my dad has given me in life.....This is gonna be an endless writing...
Bersyukur itu tanpa disadari kadang memang susah. Memberi penghargaan pada orang2 yang berjasa di hidup kita kadang2 juga susah. Yang saya tahu without my father I would be absolutely NOTHING. Jerih payah beliau bangun pagi pulang malam untuk cari uang and give me a better life benar2 tak terhitung harganya....And for everything he has done for me, never even once he asked me something in return....He just wants me to be a good person in life. No more no less. He gives me the world. He makes me see the world. Without him I am nothing...
I LOVE YOU. infinitely. unconditionally.
And may God gives me the chance to prove my love to you, take care of you...and give you the happiness...more than what you have given me through my whole life.
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