Tonight... I am upset..
As i lay myself on my bed.. i cant help but thinking about the movie that I just saw...'Sex and the City'...well, for sure i've been a big fan of them,,and its late release in Jakarta kinda annoyed me...Anyway,,im not gonna write about the movie itself or how awesome their clothes,shoes and bags and how it makes jobs in fashion industry look more tempting to me...Its Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda that rings a bell about something to me..
Friendship.
Of course as everybody knows,, the story tells about 4 girls who happen to be close friends...BFF...best-friend-forever..As it mentioned in the movie, they are now in their 40s..came to a big-promising city,New York around their 20s...and according to Carrie, the mere intentions were for two 'L' : Labels and Love....
The story reminds me of me...and 3 other girls that i met when i was on my quest to pursue a degree...moving backwards to less than a couple of years ago. We met each other. In a city not as big as
Miss A, I describe her as a really smart, sexy, and very lively lady..tres jolie...Honestly speaking, I am always amazed of how she carries herself..Having smart girlfriends is not a rare case for me ...All of my girlfriends that I know are smart.. but Miss A is uniquely yet effortlessly able to make everyone notice that this girl is so damn smart...And I adore her for that..She dances, She drinks, She's into bad boys, She does crazy things..Needless to say, she's a lot of fun..
Miss B is a chic, very stylish, and smart girl...She is a bit more serious at first, but then when the ice breaks, she is a good companion for an all nite chit-chat...It is the excitement that she always shows every time we talk about things..She has more patience in Love than I ever had..She is fashionable and we share the same addiction to shopping...And it is always fun!..
Miss C is classy and sexy..I dont know how she does it, but she has her own way to bring out the sexuality inside her..She got her own style and she was the one among us who always muster the ability to speak politely...yet she likes partying and knows how to have fun...
It didn't take long before the four of us became inseparable..Just like Carrie, Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte...The four of us came to a
I still have it clearly on my mind, how we celebrated our times together...We dressed up, put on our make ups, off to the club, took few shots of tequilas, laughed together and danced the nite away...Lots of times we did crazy stuffs together,,there was this one time,,after shots and shots of tequilas, we ended up carelessly lying our butts on the restroom's floor,,laughing without any reasons while enjoying the 'chupa-cups' candies that the toilet lady made us buy...bitching bout things..shared funny dirty stories..singing random songs that random other girls were singing..and gave no sh*ts when everybody darted weird look at us...it was always a lot of fun...Or the time when we celebrated the day of turning older with a bit too much of tequilas...We danced..laughed...got kicked out by the bouncer...put on our sunglasses and taking silly pics pretending we were in Ibiza.... wasted but HAPPY..AS IF nothing else really mattered.
And now, couple of years later and back to the city where I belong..Here I am wondering. What exactly have torn us apart?
What really has turned our beautiful friendships into a disaster?
Was it MEN? DISHONESTY? EGO? or WHAT?
It is pathetic. Really. Considering now, I am still very best friends with Miss A and Miss B, but for one or other reasons I always meet them separately due to the fact that Miss A and Miss B barely speaks to each other. And I ashamedly admit that I stop talking to Miss C. Miss B and Miss C are still good friends and keep themselves in touch. And Miss A and Miss C just formally being friends. Complicated, eiyh?
I am not goin to share in my writings about how all the mess started to explode. But here, I just wanna share my disappointment... about how upset I am to lose a precious friendship over ...WHAT??...MEN? DISHONESTY? EGO?..I still dont know. .We were a solid 4. We had many things in common. Spent fantastic time together. And it is just sad for us to be like this. Me myself, I am ashamed of myself for letting anger shallowly defeated my sense of forgiving...Sad that after all that we have been through, we could not manage to avoid each of ourselves from anger, misunderstanding, dishonesty and other negative things that have resulted in this shattered friendship...Even Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda fight..then make up...and why dont we?
Hmm, I dont know. If only I could make things change like the way it used to be...but then again..the damage is done...and its just up to us how to deal with it...Its just that before tonight, I never even spent a minute of my day to realize what loss that I have endured..I always thought, losing a man over a horrible break-up is the most heartbreaking thing...Yet, broken friendship is more disappointing and as heartbreaking as break-ups..
If only our stories could have ended happily...Just like the Carrie, Miranda, Samantha and Charlotte's story...hmph...movies will always be movies....And what happens in real life...is sometimes unbearably tough....I miss old times. I really do..
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